Office Etiquette

I think one of the most important things you can do in an office is never take the last of the coffee without refilling the pot.

 

As such, I make it a priority to learn about an office's coffee procedures on my first day. 

Question

What's with Zach Braff doing all this voice acting in advertisements? First, the Cottonelle puppy. Now, Pur water filters.

I don't get it. Can he not find jobs?

So You Think You Can Dance

Is just not the same without Janette. I should have voted more.

Accurate Reporting Fail.

Usually, I love listening to NPR.  I love that they don't yell at me, and I love the storytelling of it (which, I believe, is an art that must be preserved).  And usually they make attempts to be politically neutral. 

 

One day, I recall hearing Peter Segal, from "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," making a joke about Barack Obama (then candidate for president) and telling his audience--after he was met with near silence--that it's OK to laugh at him once in a while, too.

 

Today really bothered me, though.  When reporting on one of the Afghan candidates for president, Renee Montagne said, "He was the first candidate in Afghanistan to put up a sophisticated Web site, aimed at getting support and lots of small donations. In this, he's taken a page from Barack Obama's groundbreaking online politicking."

 

Um.  Renee.  Barack Obama was not the first to do this.  Nor was he the best at it (though, admittedly, it got him farther). 

Randoms

There's a girl making an appellate argument in the first DCA right
now. And I mean girl. She's 25, max.

Spaghetti squash, you messy minx, where have you been all my life?

"Dependable" is not first on his list of ingredients.

Wisdom

Me: She's not coming to lunch because she says she wants to be healthy.

Daniel [confused]: On a Friday?

Tristan's Reply

Florida Statute 72.431:  "Any officer of the court may, in his or her discretion, create words to be used solely for the purpose of appeal.  These words shall not not exist in any English language dictionary."

 

F.S. 72.430, Definitions:  "Officer of the court:  all those who, in some degree in function of their professional or similar qualifications, have a legal part in the complex functioning of the judicial system as a whole, in order to forge justice out of the application of the law and the simultaneous pursuit of the legitimate interests of all parties and the general good of society."  The court has found this definition to include attorneys.

Things not to do as a real lawyer

 

 1. Include nonexistent words in your (amended) appellate brief. 

 

Plaintiff cannot "undoubtably" do anything. 

Song Review--A Little Late

Has anyone ever realized how absolutely horrible the lyrics are to
"Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven?

I feel like that's some student's answer to the assignment "Write the
cheesiest song you can think of." We had an assignment like that in
writing class once, but that's different because, in my case, the
professor reminded us NOT to use it in real life.

'Biner, sometimes called a D-ring.

I just had the ridiculous urge to tell someone I really liked their
carabiner. It's even weirder because it wasn't a particularly nice
carabiner.

Miracle

I have found where all the attractive men in Pensacola are hiding. The
airport.

Same subject:
Mediations are not as boring as previously expressed. Scratch that and
make it, "Opening presentations are extremely boring; especially
because lawyers like the sound of their own voice more than I like ice
cream. And that's a lot (as expressed by the inequality below).

Most people's love of puppies < Lawyers' love for their voice >
Claudia's love for ice cream > Most people's love of breathing."

Mediation is Boring

But I've learned lots of things. Like, "He's just a whore with letters
after his name."

More to come, I'm sure.

My boss is wearing the Platonic form of a shoe.

Placeholder.

Later I will edit this into an essay about Twilight and the paradigm of the protector male.

Don't judge me yet; I'll explain.